I recently read a book called “The Things That Keep Us Here”. As this isn’t a book-reviewing blog (yet!), I’ll keep it simple. Bird Flu hits. Birds die. Bird Flu mutates. People die. The end.
Apart from the book being a compelling read, motoring on at a fine clip and leaving me petrified of every sniffle and cough, it also got my thinking about the “what if” questions about survivialism.
The protagonist in the group was frankly quite useless at this sort of stuff. Without allowing any spoilers, she clearly never did her stint in the Girl Guides. There are groups (mainly in the US), who take this stuff to the absolute nth degree, amassing huge stores of weapons, equipment and long-lasting food and water. But what about a normal Josephine or Joe Soap? What should you have in your pantry should the end indeed be nigh?
Well, as someone with clearly no life worth saving, I looked it up. And here, my fellow mortals, are the top five nuclear-war foods you should have in your pantry.*
*Or your Mum’s pantry, as let’s face it, that’s where we’d all go.
1. Despite being the go-to emergency food of 
choice, most canned food (tomato-based and fruits especially) these days only lasts about eighteen months. Others might last longer, such as tuna, spam etc. Sounds delicious, I know…
2. Going old-style on it, salt-cured meat and fish could stay edible for up to three years
3. Properly dehydrated fruit should last about eighteen months, although I’m not sure how much flavour will survive the process.
4. Good big proper bags of rice will keep you going for up to five, and even ten years if stored in the ‘proper’ (read: hardcore) way. You may be craving a chicken curry to go with it by year two though.
5. Beans are a good option as they will store for up to 5 years. Your relationship with your fellow cellar-dwellers may not however.
What would you fill your cupboards with if you caught sight of some poorly birds??
Photographs from The Guardian and National Geographic